AUTHOR: Lisa Chudnofsky,

It’s been quite a presidential week in the Land of the Free. Monday, Barack Obama was sworn in on Capitol Hill for a second term, and last night, former Republican candidate Newt Gingrich was bestowed an equal — if not greater — honour inside Snooki’s delivery room.

As the length between her contractions shortened on last night’s Snooki & JWOWW,” the guidette’s anxiety skyrocketed. Please, don’t let me poop, she prayed. Fake eyelashes impressively intact, Snooks clutched her dear plush elephant, which had recently replaced Crocadilly as her stuffed animal of choice, and, you guessed it, just so happened to be a gift from the silver-haired fox, himself, Newt G. “I held it the whole time I gave birth, so he should feel really cool,” Snooks says in the “Tea Time” after show clip below. And he should. In a way, it’s as if the man was right there for Lorenzo’s birth! You know, like, in spirit animal form? (Calls to Mr. Gingrich’s office for comment were not returned by press time.)

So that’s how the politician was once quoted as saying “There’s a large part of me that’s four years old… I wake up in the morning and I know that somewhere there’s a cookie” provided comfort to Nicole Polizzi during the most monumental event of her life. The end.


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