Rob Dyrdek has taught us so many things over the years, from what it means to love a Big man to how the awesomeness of being a kid can live on within a “Fantasy Factory.” However, when it comes to cautionary tales, there is no finer teaching tool than Rob’s crowning glory: the ode to accidents we call “Ridiculousness.” Each week, we’ll pass along the three most valuable life lessons handed down by Rob and his crew in order to keep you safe, sound and off of this show.
From last night’s episode, we uncovered the following pearls of wisdom with help from Mac Miller:
Life Lesson #1: Getting schwasted won’t turn you into a karate expert.
Karate is a skill that is learned, not acquired through drink. So when our flashing-prone lady friend decided to kick her way into a bar rather than use the doorknob (like normal people), it doesn’t come as a surprise that her move turned a perfectly good window pane into a mess of shattered glass. Sadly, that bloody leg will keep most likely keep you out of the dojo for a while, Booze Lee.
Life Lesson #2: Childhood overconfidence WILL come back to haunt you.
Whether you’re racing down a slippery hill in a tiny bucket after complaining about what a chump your friend is, bragging about how many boxes of Girl Scout cookies you sold, or simply threatening to kick a little ass when you’re barely out of diapers, you are so going to get yours. Remember, that light on the camera means it’s on, and that smile on your mom’s face means your impending fail is going on the Internet for-ev-uh.
Life Lesson #3: Just like your gym teacher told you, all pain can be walked off.
So you essentially rendered yourself infertile trying to ride a bike down a handrail? Take a lap. Did you fly headfirst off a swing into a picnic table? Try a light jog. Unfortunately, undoing the emotional pain that comes from everyone seeing your epic oops demands a more serious workout. Try Zumba.
What other life lessons did you learn from last night’s episode? Let us know in the comments!
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