AUTHOR: Tina Smithers,

We almost thought he’d found The One (for Summer 2012, at least) but Mike’s “relationship” with Paula is looking to be shorter than a meatball rockin’ flats. Just days after making it official, “The Situation” is determined to undo what he did. Scratch it from the record. Nanoseconds after DTR at Rivoli’s, when Paula brought up marriage and kids, Mike was running to for the hills in his head.

Then came the burps, shocker gang signs, carpet surfing and Vinny’s yarmulke THOSE ASS PADS and enough was enough. Mike made it perfectly clear Paula’s turned off to the point of no return, and no amount of shopping trips, new hair ‘dos and veneers can fix it. A roll of duct tape over the mouth might satisfy The Sitch, though we’re pretty sure that’s domestic abuse.

Paula, you’re a sweetheart, but you might want to consider a page or two out of JWOWW’s Rule Book. Don’t mention kiddos to your seconds-old boyfriend, and don’t put up with his lady-in-the-streets bulls**t–especially when he tells you to just shut up and smile.

How do you think Paula will react to the breakup? Watch the sneak peek and tune-in for tonight’s all-new “Jersey Shore” at 10:00pm et/7:00pm pt followed by “The After Show” at 11:00pm et/8:00pm pt! Then catch “Restore The Shore” at 11:30pm et/8:30pm pt only on MTV!


  • The Pauly D Project

  • Snooki & JWOWW

  • The Real World

  • Punk'd